Rob Kerby's Soccer Life

Coaching 101

" Everybody cheered. Parents in lawn chairs applauded. A big sister did a cartwheel. Nobody seemed too concerned that the yellow team had scored on themselves..."

by Rob Kerby

The long-awaited moment of truth had arrived. Coaches Moises, 16, and Mikey, 15, gave last-minute instructions, then took their places in the technical area. The first game of the season was about to begin.

The stern referee looked both teams over, then blew the whistle. Abel confidently kicked the ball, then in a mad rush, both teams charged after it. In a cloud of dust, teammates Miguel and Chris fought each other for control, then the ball rolled into the net.

The yellow team had scored. Everybody cheered. Parents in lawn chairs applauded. A big sister did a cartwheel. Nobody seemed too concerned that the yellow team had scored on themselves.

Both coaches huddled with their teams and explained that it was time for another kickoff. Mikey assured his yellow guys that kicking the ball into the net is good, however it gives the other team a point if you kick it into your own net. "I have new shoes," volunteered Allen.

"So do I," chorused Scottie, Kohl and Gentry, everybody lifting up their shiny Wal-Mart cleats.

"My grandmother's dog ate my turtle," announced Kohl.

"Well, OK!" said Mikey. “OK, everybody focus. Focus. Which goal are we going for?”

The team looked confused.

Rephrasing, "Which goal ... in which goal are we trying to kick the ball?" asked Mikey.

Kindergartners Scottie, Kohl, Gentry and Abel pointed at the far goal. Miguel and Chris pointed at the near one.

"Miguel and Chris are right," said Mikey. "Everybody point at that goal."

Everybody did. Coach nodded approvingly. The ref blew the whistle. Coach Moises looked up from his huddle, where he was tying shoes. "Just a minute," he called.

This fall, three of our Chris Nedelcovych Memorial Scholarship winners from last year are coaching in our recreational league. William, 17, is coaching our U-14s, Gail, 17, is coaching U-12 girls and Juan, 17, is coaching U-12 boys. ODP veteran Trey is coaching U10 boys. Longtime ref Mikey and high school players Moises and C.J. are coaching U6s.

Mikey’s yellow squad took the field - Scottie, Kohl and Gentry skipping onto the pitch holding hands, Abel, Miguel and Chris returning to their fruit punch sip-ups on the bench.

Moises stepped off the field, calling instructions to his players. Cameron pushed up Coke-bottom glasses on his tiny nose and nodded seriously. Kyle and Jarod ran in a circle around each other. Their concerned parents called out, telling them to pay attention.

The whistle blew. Yellow kicked off. Suddenly Abel was out ahead of the pack. Scottie laid unmoving in the grass. "Are you OK?" asked the ref, offering him a hand.

“They won’t let me kick the ball,” tattled Scottie, fighting back tears.

"Well, you’ll just have to get in there and take it away from them."

Scottie glared at the other players, then charged into the fray, pushing aside his own teammates, but still not getting the ball away from Jarod, who ran downfield and shot hard on goal.

The ball rebounded off of the side post. Everybody looked up at the referee.

"Keep playing! It didn’t go in."

"Yes it did!" disputed a grandmother.

"It went in!" argued a dad.

The kids pounded away at the ball, which finally escaped the surrounding wall of shins and rolled toward a goal. The horde charged after it, except for Scottie, who was again lying on the grass.

With a mighty kick, Jarod slammed the ball away from his goal and the swarm galloped after it.

"This is fun," said Coach Moises, standing with arms crossed, next to Coach Mikey. "But they aren’t doing anything that I told them."

Yeah, well, welcome to coaching.